


Coming Home

by DontWantToSayGoodbye



Category: God's Own Country (2017)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Character Growth, Life Changes, M/M, Original Character(s), Starting Over
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-25
Updated: 2019-06-25
Packaged: 2020-05-19 19:22:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,271
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19362841
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DontWantToSayGoodbye/pseuds/DontWantToSayGoodbye
Summary: Canon timeframe story about Johnny and Gheorghe starting from when Johnny goes to Scotland to get Gheorghe.  This story takes place over 24 hours.I do not own these characters and no copyright infringement is intended.





	Coming Home

The slow tears continued as they hugged each other in the misty late afternoon rain.  They swayed slowly and Johnny had no idea how long they stood like that...to him time felt like it had stopped for a moment.  He was feeling things like he had never felt before...joy, happiness, relief, fear, uncertainty, insecurity...love...all wrapped up in one.  But for this moment in time it did not matter because he was in Gheorghe’s arms, safe in Gheorghe’s arms.  He closed his eyes and wished that they could just stay like this, forget the rest of the world and just exist as Johnny and Gheorghe, just exist as one.

They finally pulled apart as the rain intensified a bit and Gheorghe cradled Johnny’s face in his two hands and smiled softly at him, his eyes telling Johnny everything he needed to hear right then.

“Let us go collect my things,” Gheorghe said.

“Where are they?” Johnny asked.

“The farm rented us rooms in local pub until we had time to find our own place, so I am still there.  It is not far,” Gheorghe replied.

The farming operations were closed for the evening and no one saw them leave hand in hand as they walked the short distance to the local pub.  As he trailed slightly behind Gheorghe, Johnny felt somewhat like a young school lad being pulled towards some unknown adventure.  He quickly straightened up a bit and move forward, already trying to show Gheorghe that he was a different man, that he could be a part of this relationship on equal terms.

On the bus ride up, Johnny, had fretted in his mind how he was going to show Gheorghe that what he wanted to say was the truth.  He knew his actions had to match his words.  Of course doubt crossed his mind in many forms...would Gheorghe even want to come back with him, would he fail Gheorghe right from the start if he did agree to come back with him, what did he need to do to show Gheorghe how he really felt?...plus many others.   Now with Gheorghe right beside him he realised it was going to be a trial and error type of thing, he would have to go blindly into the dark at times and hopefully do the right thing.  One quick cue he hoped he could rely on was watching how Gheorghe was acting, trying to imitate him somehow, though he also knew this would only get him so far.  There was no really good book to read about how to do all this love and relationship stuff, and as it was Johnny was not much of a reader in any case.

They arrived at the small pub and went round to the side door where residents of the half dozen small rooms upstairs entered the building.  There was a small reception counter but no one was there.  Whoever was on duty in the pub usually took care of any questions or needs for the residents, and normally they were around the corner serving customers in the main part of the pub.  Gheorghe lead Johnny quickly up the steps and unlocked the door to a small room, which contained just a bed, nightstand, and a simple small table with a wooden chair...frugal surroundings to say the least.  Johnny flinched as his mind quickly thought about the beat up old caravan that they had made Gheorghe use and sleep in.  In truth the caravan was not that bad but now Johnny was over compensating in his mind on all fronts.

Gheorghe sat on the bed and Johnny quickly sat down beside him.  It was as if Johnny felt that if he let Gheorghe stray too far away he would lose him again.  They fell into a soft embrace, followed by immature fumbling and eagerness but also now an emerging sureness on Johnny’s part.  He was sure Gheorghe had felt the difference for when they pulled apart there was a slight look of bewilderment on Gheorghe’s face and Johnny was sure it looked like Gheorghe wanted to ask a question but nothing was forthcoming.

Finally, Gheorghe muttered softly, “Freak, freak, freak...what am I doing?”, now he himself looking somewhat unsure and uncertain to Johnny.

“Hopefully coming home wi’ me.  I really hope coming home...wi’ me,” Johnny replied his voice breaking a little towards the end.

They fell into a tight embrace again, Johnny realising now that this was probably just as hard for Gheorghe as it had been for him...that Gheorghe was now putting a lot on the line for him, that Gheorghe agreeing to come back with him was just as monumental a step as it had been for Johnny to take the bus all the way to Scotland to ask him to come back.  Neither man was in the driver’s seat, neither man had the upper hand.

Gheorghe pulled back planting a soft kiss directly to Johnny’s lips, the kiss lingered and felt all consuming but not sexual for the instant.  Johnny wondered if this was what love really was.

“How did you find me?” Gheorghe asked when he finally moved away.

“Nan, gave me your address.  I had your number that you had given me.  I tried ta call once but you did’n answer.”

“Oh, yes, Deirdre, had called me a day after I left asking where she could send my wages for the work I had done.  She said she was sorry I had left,” Gheorghe informed Johnny.

“Aye, now I understand where she got it from.” Johnny mulled.

Johnny then told Gheorghe that he had walked from Chapel to Kirkcaldy, where the farm Gheorghe was working on was located, but that he had checked the return bus trip home to Bradford, and that there was still time for them to get a bus from Chapel to Edinburgh, and there catch a bus from Edinburgh to Leeds, and then to Bradford.  Johnny hoped as he explained this that Gheorghe would just agree.  He knew they had lots to talk about and discuss but right now all Johnny could think about was getting Gheorghe back home with him.  He hoped they could figure out all the rest later.  He also felt both physically and emotionally drained and guessed Gheorghe was probably in the same boat.

Gheorghe nodded to Johnny’s relief, and packed up his few belongings.  Johnny watched him as he unpinned the old weathered post card from the wall beside the bed and promised himself to ask Gheorghe one day what that was of.  His interest in Gheorghe’s history, his country, his family...everything about him, had been stirred by his final decision to come up to Scotland and get him, and now he felt an anxiousness to start asking all sorts of questions even though he had always been a man of so little questions and words.  Again, he knew these would have to wait.  There would be a time for each step in their new life together, and just knowing that it now looked like they would be taking these steps together nearly made Johnny start to cry again.

For someone who had for 20 years bottled up their emotions, he felt a vulnerability and a sense of not knowing himself with everything he was feeling now.  He lacked a control he always felt he had and this scared him, but he also knew he had to try and move forward, one step at a time...though he hoped all the steps would not have to be as big as this one had been.

Gheorghe left his work overalls on hook in the hallway outside his room, normally this was where the workers left them when they needed to be washed, so Gheorghe knew the farm would get them back.  At the tiny reception counter Gheorghe asked for a paper and envelope and wrote a note to his boss.  Johnny knew it would not be easy for Gheorghe to just walk out on a contract, but there was plenty of migrant workers looking for work at this time of year, so hopefully the farm would have an easy time replacing Gheorghe, or at least Johnny tried to placate himself with that thought.

They walked the four miles to Chapel, not saying much.  Occasionally brushing hands or touching shoulders, never being very far from each other.  The rain had blown over and the late spring evening sky was clear and bright.  The bus from Chapel to Edinburgh was sparsely filled, and it gave them more a chance to touch and hold hands, spending time just gazing at each other, an occasional smirk or slight smile forming on one or the other’s lips, but all done discretely.  To most onlookers they would look like two working lads travelling together, probably onto their next job site, sharing an occasional joke, but to an astute person, it would be easy to see that much more was going on between then...something quite tender and beautiful.  Words were not needed right now...just being together would do.

They caught the last bus leaving Edinburgh for Leeds, and during most of the 4 hour trip they both slept, Johnny’s head more than once falling softly against Gheorghe’s shoulder.  Gheorghe even returned the favour a few times.  They both felt sore and achy when they got to Leeds after all the travelling, and it was nearly 1 am in the morning, so even though they could hardly afford it, they decided to take a taxi for the 40 minute ride from Leeds to Silsden.  Johnny was able to haggle a fixed price for the ride and they arrived outside the farm house nearing 2 am.

After paying the taxi they both stood outside the dark farmhouse.  Johnny had not called Nan, and hence no one was waiting up and no lights had been left on.

“What should we do?” Gheorghe asked.

“Maybe just go in, we can be quiet, go to my room,” Johnny replied.

“Maybe we wait till morning.  Deirdre will be sleeping and we not want to upset Martin.  You not agree?” Gheorghe said with a hesitancy in his voice.

“Aye, I guess you’re right, the caravan is right here, we can sleep there and still be up to feed the cows.”

“I think this is good plan,” Gheorghe agreed.

They both headed towards the caravan, opened the door and entered the dark, cold space.  There was no hanging light anymore as Gheorghe had taken the bulb out of that, and the small beside lamp did not work either as that light had broken when Johnny had trashed the place the second night after Gheorghe had left.  Johnny fumbled for the starter button on the gas heater and after a few clicks it glowed bright orange and started to fill the space with warmth.  Johnny had tidied up the small trailer the day after his outburst but it was still in a bit of a shambles, nonetheless they quickly pulled the bed out and after shedding their jackets and footwear they both tumbled into it.  After a moment Gheorghe got back up and fumbled through his bag and then came back to the bed with a small lamb’s skin cover which he put on his pillow.

Johnny quizzically looked at it and asked, “What’s that for?”

“It is from my farm, it reminds me of home.  I sleep better with it,” Gheorghe answered.

“Can I feel it?” asked Johnny.

“It is large enough for both of us I think.  Roll over and I can hug you,” Gheorghe said.

Johnny rolled over and they spooned with Gheorghe’s warm chest pressed to Johnny’s back, Gheorghe’s arms wrapped around Johnny...their bodies now moulded into one.  Their heads together on the pillow covered by Gheorghe’s lamb’s skin, Johnny’s a few inches higher and Gheorghe’s face close behind Johnny’s neck, Gheorghe’s warm breath cascading around Johnny like a lullaby.

No more words were spoken.  As Johnny drifted off to slumber he felt that he had never ever been this content in his entire life.  If the small spider busily working on its nest in the corner above the bed had looked down it would have seen a smile on his face.

\-----

A slight boyish grin formed across Johnny’s face as he awoke.  The air was cold in the trailer but he felt warm with Gheorghe close beside him.  They had not moved much during the night, partly because both were exhausted and slept so deeply, but also because neither wanted to be away from the physical contact with the other.  Johnny heard Gheorghe mumble and shift slightly, his arms tightening around Johnny.  Would probably be time to get up soon, cows needed to be fed...farm life was calling.

Johnny also knew they would have to go into the house and see Deirdre and Martin.  Johnny had less apprehension about this, he just took for granted this was his house too and he could do as he pleased, sort of like the night he asked Gheorghe to stay with him there after they had come down from the lambing.  Gheorghe had said no, that they should stay in the caravan, and Johnny sort of felt he knew where Gheorghe had been coming from now, but he still felt he had to be able to live his own life in his own house.   Aside from how he was feeling, he was sure that Gheorghe would be very uncertain of the outcome and would be apprehensive to face Deirdre and Martin.

Johnny rolled over and was now face to face with Gheorghe, whose eyes were still closed, though Johnny suspected he was at least partially awake.  Johnny kissed him gently, and rubbed his hand on Gheorghe’s shoulder.

“Mornin’, goin’ to have to get up soon, like,” he said in a low voice.

Gheorghe’s eyes opened and he smiled slightly, then he raised his hands to his face and rubbed the sleep from his eyes and yawned.  Johnny could not help one side of his mouth rising in a small grin, the grin representing something tender in Johnny that words could not capture.

They both got up, found their boots and taking their jackets in their arms, headed out of the caravan, leaving their bags behind.   Johnny walked towards the house door and pushed it open.  The smell of morning breakfast and the warmth created by the fire in the hearth struck him instantly.

As they removed their boots and hung their jackets, they could hear noise in the kitchen.  Shortly, Deirdre appeared at the kitchen door.

“Breakfast ready in a few jiffs.  I heard you come in last night and thank you kindly for not waking us all up at that ungodly hour.  Beasts will need feedin’ soon,” Deirdre stated in her matter-of-fact type of way.

After a short pause she added, “and, welcome back, Gheorghe.”  Johnny felt like she was trying or wanted to say more but that was not the Saxby way and enough had been communicated with those few extra words.

“Thank you, Mrs. Saxby,” Gheorghe politely replied.

“Please call me Deirdre or Nan, whichever you like, both are fine with me,” Deirdre said, as she turned back towards the kitchen.

Gheorghe nodded.

\-----

That first day with Gheorghe back went like many days before on the farm in most respects.  Farm jobs had to be done, animals fed, barns cleaned, things mended.  But in many other respects it was a very different day, and Johnny felt it all through his being.  He had already spent nearly a week working with Gheorghe, so that was not something new for him, but working with Gheorghe now, with the knowledge that Gheorghe was here to stay, _hopefully_ here to stay for good... _(hopefully_...doubts occasionally crossing his mind causing a small winch of pain to cross his stomach)...made the day seem completely different.  Johnny was Johnny and of course had his normal moments of frustration with things on the farm, that was not going to change overnight but for some reason he felt the sun seemed brighter, the air seemed warmer, the pastures greener, the animals more content, the tasks easier that day.

Johnny and Gheorghe both knew the daily routine but whether consciously or not they arranged their jobs so that they were never far from each other, never really out of each other’s sight, and more often than not sharing in the same task.  Pats on shoulders, non accidental bumps into each other, touches and laying of hands was the norm throughout the day.  Not so hidden glances and shy smiles abounded.

This was what new love felt like and Johnny experiencing it for the first time could not contain himself on most fronts.

They came in for lunch, and Martin was up then and sitting at the table.  Johnny and Gheorghe, after removing their overalls and boots, sat down at the table and Deirdre brought in lunch.  In many ways it was as if the small absence of Gheorghe had never taken place.

“Welcome...back,” Martin sputtered out.

“Thank you,” Gheorghe replied.

“Done...lower...field, clean...,” Martin quickly continued, looking at Johnny.

“Aye,” Johnny confirmed.  Johnny had not forgotten his talk with his Dad before he left, about how he wanted things to be different but he also knew it would be a process that took time.  Already now he was anxious to sit with Gheorghe and talk about the future of the farm and what they may be able to change, do differently to make it better.  Johnny had ideas but he was sure Gheorghe also had some.  The idea of the two of them taking on the task made it seem like it was possible.  During last week when he was alone, he had told his Nan they would manage, but part of the slow downward spiral he had been on during that time was that deep down he knew he could not manage it alone.  He closed his eyes for a moment and thought - _one step at a time_.

Lunch was finished with barely a few more words spoken, some things were not going to change.

As Deirdre was clearing away the dishes, at one point she stood just outside the kitchen door with some dirty plates in her hands and turned around.

“Listen lads,” she said and all heads turned towards her, “I don’t want to make something big of this, the world is changin’, things are not like they were when we were younger, maybe for the better, but though our Johnny has had some rough times, Martin and I want him to be happy, so you lads do what you need to do.”

And with that she turned back and went into the kitchen.  Martin nodded slightly, turned and looked down towards the table in front of him.  Johnny caught a slight smile cross his face, seemingly filled with longing...longing for his son’s happiness or longing for a life of happiness lost, Johnny was not sure.

Johnny had blushed during his Nan’s small speech, but he knew this was her and his Dad’s way of inviting Gheorghe into the house, that no more words would be spoken about it.  He could not help himself from smiling and whispering under his breath, “Ta.”

Gheorghe had quietly squeezed Johnny’s leg under the table when Deirdre had finished speaking.  It was not a squeeze of triumph, but one of understanding, of knowledge that all these changes were going to be sometimes awkward and hard for everyone, that changing routines that had been set in stone for years was going to be a challenge, but that Gheorghe was willing to come along for the ride, to try and help make it easier.  Johnny sensing this had laid his hand on top of Gheorghe’s and squeezed back.

\-----

After lunch the boys grabbed their bags from the caravan and brought them up to Johnny’s room, both acting slightly like teenagers doing something illicit, though both trying to be as adult like about it as possible.  Nan had cleaned the room up during Johnny’s one day absence, so the floor was clean and the bed was made.

“I can give you a drawer in this here dresser for your things,” Johnny said, pointing to a chest of drawers in the corner.

“OK, don’t have much to store,” Gheorghe smiled at Johnny.

The smile lead Johnny to instantly hug Gheorghe tight to him, to hold him close.

“It’s goin’ to be alright, like, I think,” Johnny whispered into Gheorghe’s ear.

“I think so too,” Gheorghe replied.

They pulled apart, and Johnny said, “The bed’s probably goin’ be too small but we’ll have to make do for now I guess.”

Gheorghe nodded.

Johnny knew it was going to take some time for Gheorghe to not feel like a guest in this house, that Gheorghe would have to find his own way to calling it his home too, but nonetheless Johnny wanted to do all he could to make Gheorghe feel like he was at home.

“You can put your postcard up on the wall wherever you want, like, and put your pillow cover thingy on the bed too.  It was soft to sleep on last night,” Johnny encouragingly said.

“It will be OK,” Gheorghe said.  Johnny knew that Gheorghe was sensing that Johnny was trying so hard to make him feel welcome.  Like he had said to himself before, it was going to be trial and error.  Johnny pulled Gheorghe close to him again and kissed him gently but passionately.  He felt each time he was learning to do this in a more grown up manly way, with more sureness of what he wanted.

“My own faggot,” slipped out of Johnny’s mouth as if pushed out by the newfound sureness of what he was doing.

“And you are mine,” Gheorghe responded, with a slight grin, “but back to the work now I think.”

They left their bags to be unpacked later and went back downstairs to grab their boots and overalls.  Nan gave them a slender smile as they passed her on the way out.

\-----

The usual evening exhaustion set in after a long afternoon of farm work and a hearty evening meal.  Dad had been settled in already, and the TV blared something that neither Johnny or Gheorghe were interested in.  Nan had forgone her ironing, and it appeared to Johnny as if she also seemed to have had a heavy weight lifted off her shoulders. It was hard to perceive as nothing in her words showed it, but just something about her demeanour seemed to have changed, and Johnny thought, for the better.  Nan had knitted by the fire for a short while and then excused herself to bed.

It had been a cue to both lads, and they quickly jumped onto the sofa together with Johnny leaning into Gheorghe’s chest.  It all felt very natural, normal, to Johnny, as if they had been doing this for years. Gheorghe stroked Johnny’s arms softly and Johnny tentatively rubbed the side of Gheorghe’s leg...not something he was used to doing but something that he now was learning felt good.  Receiving and giving affection felt good he had discovered, he had only known all these years how to receive or maybe take was the better word, and most times it could have hardly been called affection, but now he was experiencing it as a whole and it made him tingle inside and sent a warmth throughout his body.

“We have a lot to talk about,” Johnny said hesitantly, as if it was more a question than a statement.

“Yes, I think we do, but I also think it can wait,” Gheorghe replied, adding, “in one coming evening we can sit down and talk about the farm maybe.”

“Aye, I have ideas, told Dad, before I came and got ya, that we have to do things differently,” Johnny said, “also want to hear what you think.”

“There are new things we can try, I think,” Gheorghe said.

Johnny knew there was more than just the farm they needed to talk about, lots more, but he also sensed that Gheorghe was patient, and that they would get to what they needed to discuss with time, and that maybe Gheorghe was learning that Johnny would try not to let him down.

Johnny smiled, pushing himself closer into Gheorghe.  He squeezed Gheorghe’s left leg slightly, and closed his eyes.  This felt like home, this felt like where he was supposed to be.  He knew bodies could not talk words but he sort of felt Gheorghe’s was telling him something...Gheorghe’s soft rhythmic breathing, his gentle caresses of Johnny’s arm, the relaxed state of his muscles...seemed to be telling Johnny that Gheorghe felt the same way too.

They slept spooned together again that night in Johnny’s small bed, sharing one pillow with Gheorghe’s lamb cover on it.  Another step was taken with many more to come, but two lives searching for something had found each other, and the search now seemed over...two restless souls and weary bodies could now find comfort as one.

\-----

As Gheorghe closed his eyes, falling slowly into a deep contented sleep, he thought to himself... _yes, this is home, this is where I should be, this man will make me happy, I hope I can make him happy too_...though he already felt he answered the question as he pulled Johnny closer to him and stillness covered his thoughts.

**Author's Note:**

> I have again tried to keep Johnny as close as possible to his canon character, but as he was changing, or trying to change at the end of the film, there is some leeway, I believe, to extrapolate how he might act. Also, many of the changes are only occurring in his head, his manners and speech, while subtly different, would basically still be the same Johnny. I also feel that Gheorghe, while appearing to be very grounded in the film, does in fact have his own insecurities and uncertainties and I have tried to show these. Thank you for reading.
> 
> I would add a note that this story takes place over 24 hours, so throughout it Johnny is in many ways watching his every move and step very closely, over compensating and trying to do everything right, his senses would be on high alert...we all know this would not last, but the intensity in this early part of their re-connection should be a good grounding to help him continue to move in the right direction. Gheorghe for his part probably still has lots of doubts of whether or not he made the right decision, the first night back he can of course dream that this will be the man to make him happy, can cling onto those feelings, but truth is there is a lot of unknown in front of him, in front of them both.


End file.
